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Freestylin'

Alex
2008-12-05 17:33:00 UTC

Freestylin’

Ever thought that the whole restauranting culture is a bit stuffy?

I’ve been out to countless restaurant meals where everything is terribly formal. Courses are in a strict structure, no-one has a starter unless everyone does, going out for a smoke is verboten, you only drink if everyone is drinking, waiters are treated as if they weren’t there, and a plethora of other social restrictions. It all adds up to a pretty naff night out.

It’s a fairly British thing, the Europeans seem to have much more fun than us at meals. I think the formality centres around puritanical Victorian values and the idea that a meal is in some way a solemn ritual which under no circumstances should be enjoyed. Well, we’re not Victorians any more, and I can see no reason why we in Britain (and possibly in America) should continue to allow the Euro’s to enjoy themselves more than we are. So… I give you Freestyling, eating the meal you’ve paid for, in the manner you want to eat it:

1) First up, don’t worry about course order. Maybe you don’t want a main meal, but would prefer 3 starters. So order that. Hungry for more savoury stuff at the end of the mains? Order more. Yeah, sometimes restaurant’s ordering systems can’t quite handle it, so pay ‘em a bigger tip if they’re willing to give it a go, and be nice to them if they get it wrong.

2) Don’t worry that everyone arrives at exactly the same time, if someone has to be late, let them come along and just eat a dessert or something. It’s not as if you’re saying grace¹.

3) Smoking, drinking? They’re okay! It’s your night out, so do what you enjoy!

4) Take your time. You don’t have to hurry a meal, and it’s probably better for you if you don’t. Eating at restaurants is as much about the company as the meal, so don’t be afraid to drink and chat between courses.

5) Be nice to the staff, they’re people, not servants. If they’re up for it, ask about the food. Much more important, if the food’s good, enthuse! It’s makes their job more enjoyable.

6) This one’s very important: Obey the Golden Rule; don’t be a dick. If you’re being an asshole, everyone around you, friends, staff, and other customers have a more stressful time, so quit it!

7) If the food’s a bit naff, constructive comments to the waiters are okay, but please, don’t loudly comment about it to your friends so everyone can hear.

8) If people don’t like you having fun, screw them, but if you’re shouting so loud it ruins their meal, well that’s a Golden Rule violation there.

9) Finally, remember to relax, enjoy yourself, and shrug off the ceremony, having a meal is a celebration, not a ritual.

(PS Thanks to A & G for opening my eyes)

¹ If you are saying grace, the person who comes later could always say grace later, I’m sure God wouldn’t mind.

Comments

Jeff \| 2008-12-05 19:45:25 UTC Most of the time at restaurants here in America, we follow the more informal method of eating (however I really don’t have much experience with extremely fancy dining). Though a good number of us are a rather boisterous lot to begin with, which I am pretty sure helps.
marveen \| 2008-12-05 21:46:48 UTC I’ve gotta agree with Jeff here, I’ve never seen dining that stuffy anywhere in the US that I’ve eaten. (I will grant here that my most expensive restaurant meal totalled up at $89 w/out tip, so I haven’t exactly been dining in rarefied levels.) Most places I’ve been are fine if you want to dine only on appetizers, substitute items, or, indeed, have nothing but coffee and cheesecake.
Stuart Carter \| 2008-12-06 01:25:16 UTC The only time I have been to a schmancy restaurant was at lunch time, when the group I was in was having a very loud blast :) Most of the time the dining out Mrs and I do is very much casual dining.
Amanda \| 2008-12-06 13:42:03 UTC Here here! All very well said! Food should be fun, and eating out with good friends is the best things in the world.
Amanda \| 2008-12-06 14:01:28 UTC That should, of course, have been ‘Hear! Hear!’ and ‘best thing’. The hangover from last night seems to have eclipsed my ability to type…
pajh \| 2008-12-06 19:28:26 UTC It’s possible that it’s a British thing. We get too hung up on what fork to use and appropriate napkin usage. You’re entirely right; we should all just relax about it. Food should be fun.
Dougal Stanton \| 2008-12-07 11:45:23 UTC I don’t think I’ve ever been to restaurant and done something so painfully formal. I’m generally the one that doesn’t have the appetite for a starter as well. Or my girlfriend will order two starters instead of a main course because they sound more interesting. IT doesn’t sound very unusual. Occasionally we just swoop into a restaurant for some crazy dessert and then leave again.
Sarah \| 2008-12-07 20:22:33 UTC Smoking> may be fine for a smoker but I don’t want to spend my meal coughing up my lungs/not being able to taste my food properly because of second hand cigarette smoke…
pajh \| 2008-12-07 21:38:02 UTC @Sarah: Then sit elsewhere, or open a window, or ask them to stop. It’s your night as well as theirs. Come to a compromise.
Alex \| 2008-12-08 22:28:14 UTC Sarah – When I say smoking, I mean outside. Not sure what it’s like where you are, but in the UK, you can’t smoke inside, so this once contentious issue isn’t a problem any more.

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Jeff \| 2008-12-05 19:45:25 UTC Most of the time at restaurants here in America, we follow the more informal method of eating (however I really don’t have much experience with extremely fancy dining). Though a good number of us are a rather boisterous lot to begin with, which I am pretty sure helps.
marveen \| 2008-12-05 21:46:48 UTC I’ve gotta agree with Jeff here, I’ve never seen dining that stuffy anywhere in the US that I’ve eaten. (I will grant here that my most expensive restaurant meal totalled up at $89 w/out tip, so I haven’t exactly been dining in rarefied levels.) Most places I’ve been are fine if you want to dine only on appetizers, substitute items, or, indeed, have nothing but coffee and cheesecake.
Stuart Carter \| 2008-12-06 01:25:16 UTC The only time I have been to a schmancy restaurant was at lunch time, when the group I was in was having a very loud blast :) Most of the time the dining out Mrs and I do is very much casual dining.
Amanda \| 2008-12-06 13:42:03 UTC Here here! All very well said! Food should be fun, and eating out with good friends is the best things in the world.
Amanda \| 2008-12-06 14:01:28 UTC That should, of course, have been ‘Hear! Hear!’ and ‘best thing’. The hangover from last night seems to have eclipsed my ability to type…
pajh \| 2008-12-06 19:28:26 UTC It’s possible that it’s a British thing. We get too hung up on what fork to use and appropriate napkin usage. You’re entirely right; we should all just relax about it. Food should be fun.
Dougal Stanton \| 2008-12-07 11:45:23 UTC I don’t think I’ve ever been to restaurant and done something so painfully formal. I’m generally the one that doesn’t have the appetite for a starter as well. Or my girlfriend will order two starters instead of a main course because they sound more interesting. IT doesn’t sound very unusual. Occasionally we just swoop into a restaurant for some crazy dessert and then leave again.
Sarah \| 2008-12-07 20:22:33 UTC Smoking> may be fine for a smoker but I don’t want to spend my meal coughing up my lungs/not being able to taste my food properly because of second hand cigarette smoke…
pajh \| 2008-12-07 21:38:02 UTC @Sarah: Then sit elsewhere, or open a window, or ask them to stop. It’s your night as well as theirs. Come to a compromise.
Alex \| 2008-12-08 22:28:14 UTC Sarah – When I say smoking, I mean outside. Not sure what it’s like where you are, but in the UK, you can’t smoke inside, so this once contentious issue isn’t a problem any more.