Day 5 (3rd April)

Hugh: The Fife Diet: Tired and Emotional

Both Paul and I have noticed something about the Fife Diet we’re currently on: we’re pretty sure it’s affecting us badly.

In my case, both at badminton yesterday and dagger-fighting on Monday I noticed that my reflexes were off. My distance perception was much worse than usual, and at dagger I was moving sluggishly rather than my normal bouncy self. At badminton my play was sufficiently bad through most of the night—although I had a couple of good spots—that several people noticed it.

I’ve also been noticing I’m more prone to mood swings than usual. I’m not getting as much of the tiredness as Paul, but I am seeing increased muscle tension (probably because the diet as we’re eating it basically has zero Omega-3 oils and no magnesium—although the latter shouldn’t show up this quickly), physical tiredness, and I did fall asleep stone-cold on Saturday at 1:40 am, which is well before my usual bedtime.

Today I was out in Leeds, and so couldn’t eat from Fife (aside from breakfast—despite having to be at the station well into the single digits, I cooked a Fifely breakfast beforehand). Again, I noticed that I was pretty much glomming down everything in sight and still being hungry—partially a long day thing, I’m sure, but I also had a distinct “ooh, nutrients” moment there.

Now maybe we’d recover and adapt in time—or find a Fife-based dairy. But it’s not good, and it’s reminding me that people in the past, when we ate less imported food, also lived for less time and had generally less healthy diets than we do.

Ah, well. Only two days to go. Time for a bit of swede and carrot mash before bed.

Paul: We’re all a little low on blood sugar

One hour of filming in the pub today.

Then we remembered to turn the microphone on.

I think it’s time for one of my blood sugar-mediated mood swings.

Two more days of this.

Paul: The Fife Diet: Day 5

Still indexing from zero. One day to go.

I managed to get hold of real porridge oats, porridge, for the making of. Breakfast this morning cooked in a third of the time and I even managed to eat it all while it was still hot. This was a bonus.

Filming in the pub today involved the consumption of two bottles of Fifeshire elderflower wine. Lunch was just oatcakes with pate and rowan jelly, but I was glad of it. Accidentally ate some mouldy pork as well: threw the rest away.

For dinner, omelette.

I really like these omelettes. It just goes to show what you can do with high-quality free-range stuff (and cooking fat). I’mma have another one for lunch tomorrow.

In the pub today, we were talking about Fife Diet-approved booze. Listed on the website are Fraoch, Cairn O’ Mohr and the Fyfe Brewery. The Fyfe Brewery is in Fife and I’m told it’s very good, but they don’t seem to supply anywhere except for a couple of pubs in Kirkcaldy. Fraoch are based in Alloa and Cairn O’ Mohr are in Perthshire, neither of which are in Fife.

Bouvrage are listed on the Fife Diet Site as well, and they’re based in Alloa too. The lady on the Bouvrage stall at the Market on Saturday told us that the raspberries themselves were from Fife. Fine, but if they have to be taken out of the county to be processed and bottled, and then brought back in, how local are they really? And where does the glass come from?

Fraoch and its associated “historic ales from Scotland” (such as Grozet, which I was drinking on Sunday despite it not being the season for it, because I couldn’t get any Fraoch) are made somewhere close to Fife, but I’m fairly sure that the barley and the hops come from Elsewhere particularly in the case of Grozet, which is a wheat beer and, as we’ve already established, you can’t grow wheat in Fife. But apparently it’s allowed on the list because it’s a local brewery quite close to Fife.

We know of another type of booze made in Fife, from ingredients that may be from Fife but probably aren’t. By the rationale established by the Fife Diet site, it should be permitted also. It may be known to you. Its name is Carlsberg.

Not that I’d drink that shit even if it was allowed on the Diet.

And, now I come to think of it, Smirnoff is made in Fife from ingredients that may or may not come from Fife. So why is one thing allowed and another not?

We’ve tried to be very strict about consuming only things that can be proven to be from Fife, made in Fife, grown in Fife and sold in Fife. We’ve also allowed things that are expressly permitted by the Fife Diet website list of approved suppliers. But there doesn’t seem to be any reason why some things are excluded and some aren’t.

Our Fife Diet, it seems, is better than theirs.